Big Bang theories that work

Time for an update. I hate blogging just for the sake of putting something down, but I think I have enough for a "catch-up". Last I talked about Zane, we were talking of his meltdowns and about going back to the psychiatrist for a follow-up. We have done so, and the Dr. agreed that his medication is not strong enough to handle his moods. He doesn't think it's "wearing off" since it has a 3-day half-life and will still be in his system for several days. So....we bumped up from 5 mgs to 7mgs. We also talked about instituting immediate consequences for physical aggression, and keeping it "non-personal". We don't want to say his name or say the word "you" should do this or shouldn't - he wants us to focus on JUST the behavior in a calm way. For example, "that behavior is unacceptable in our home, hitting hurts others, hitting will cause others not to want to be around us." Because Asperger kids are SOOOO possessive of their toys, etc, he suggested we try not to take things away, but rather give him chores, or "writing lines". Any consequence that makes him angry "further" will exasperate the tantrum, or start it "anew". We can take things away for small amounts of time if he damages someone else's property (like he tore Braden's favorite Pokemon book over something small). We do have to realize that he will obsess about the possession we "took away" and it will bug him to no end.

He may "act out" again because he's so upset that we have it. He also mentioned getting emotional and trying "not to" in response to his aggression. It's very difficult for us not to get upset when we see him hurt Braden or damage our home, but to model appropriate responses to anger, we have to stay "cool". Then... we

1. Let him calm down; help with counting if necessary.
2. Keep the debrief very short - hitting hurts, what can we do next time, tell him you "know we must now give you a consequence".
3. Assign the consequence and do not bargain or enter into arguing about who did what, or "what's" not fair. 
4. Give him plenty of time to comply with the consequence.
5. If he chooses not to -say "You can choose to write lines and say you're sorry" which will help you move on with your day, or you can choose to argue and have further consequences, which will not be any fun for you."
6. Then give him more time to comply without threatening, reminding, or acting condescending. 
7. Lastly, look for positives over the next few hours or days to reinforce the "desired" behavior, so we have less of the negative.

Zane told his Dr. that he likes to 'work for' Under Armour shirts. It's typical for Asperger's kids to prefer soft/texturally pleasing fabric. Zane LOVES basket ball shorts, and Under Armour wear. He earns tickets (.50 each) for desired behavior such as "telling instead of hitting, not hitting back, not throwing a fit over a change in plans). Once he earns enough tickets to pay for a shirt, we will go buy one for him. This started this past week, and he is working very hard for his tickets. He WANTS THOSE SHIRTS. :-)

All in all - doc said that we are doing very well managing his Apserger's and while it's very upsetting to us, he reminded me that everything that we described is very very TYPICAL of kids with Asperger's- the tantrums over change, the texture sensitivity, hitting, not sharing, jealous over possessions, wanting others to play "their way only", and the behavior changing the minute school is out since that is a HUGE disruption in their "daily schedule". He suggested we start watching "The Big Bang Theory" to bring some humor into our evenings, and remind us of the positives and funny characteristics of a child/adult with Asperger's. He also recommended it for family and friends to familiarize themselves with what Asperger's looks like. 

What's funny is alot of what he told me, I already know - since I'm a special ed. teacher, but I just cannot relay "enough" that when it's your child you tend to have a knee-jerk reaction, react emotionally, and forget whatever "sense" you have as you try to deal with the "moment" in the "moment". 

To sum, we're not doing anything wrong and Zane is going to learn eventually how to work through most of these moments of frustration - we just have to remember to laugh, and give it time, patience, and a little work to "set up" situations in which he'll be successful! 

Time to go set the DVR to record Big Bang! Have a great weekend! 

Dawn