Good Advice from a Friend Who Knows

I cannot tell you how invaluable it is to know people that are not only comfortable talking about Autism, but who are knowledgeable. When it is your child it's so hard to let emotion get in the way, and not be objective. One of the things I try to remember with my own Sp.Ed. students is to be "proactive" rather than "reactive". This means trying to anticipate "what" will occur, identify triggers before an "event", and have a plan of action for when things escalate. Every child is different, and if you think you know your own kid better than anyone else, let me assure you it's easy to miss things when you're not objective.


I got some great advice today, and I want to save it here to refer back to. I also want it here so that if any of my "one-day" readers are needing this information, it is here in black/white. I am so grateful to this friend for helping me to have a "plan" and bringing some great ideas to our family that I will also use in my classroom next year. This advice is in response to my questions about what to do for "escalating tantrums" for a child with Aspergers. 


Here is her response: (Tab, you ROCK! - for all of your- "the readers'" information, Tabatha is a fantastic Sp.Ed. teacher that has worked with Autistic children at length and has stores of valuable information she has used in the classroom... that works!)

"Sometime you will have to ignore them...Sometimes that it the ONLY way to handle it. After you have the twins, I suggest that you get SAMA trained through the district, I might help if he really loses it. It's a restrait training but the also help you 'talk" him out of it. But you HAVE to do the restraints so you will have to be able to move well and be feeling good. Try the ABC (antecedent, behavior, consequence) charts, they REALLY do work. I know the concept is simple, but the more descriptive you are the better, it will help you in the long run. It took me almost 6 months to figure out that a student didn't like wearing his socks when the line wasn't on a certain part of his foot. I know it sounds crazy, but little things like that can make a WORLD of difference. Have you ever video taped him while he is having a fit? Sometimes WAY after the tantrum is over, it helps to show him what he looks like and talk about a better wa to handle the situation would have been. Maybe "role play" with him and your husband and the kids.

Sometimes they have to see it before they understand what you are asking him to do. If his cognative level is high enough to understand that he will have to go to bed early if he threw another fit, then maybe he can "earn" stars or something on a sticker chart that add to time alone with Just you....or Just dad...something like swimming...ect. I know that it might not be "fair" to the other kids, but when he is better behaved they will all be happier! Do you think that it has to do with you being pregnant? Maybe write a social story about bringing the babies home, life with newborns and also (just in case) How life will be if the babies are in the NICU. Even if everything goes well, they sometimes spend a little more time at the Hospital. If that happens, he needs to understand what is going on since you will most likely not be at home and he will be left with family or friends. If you need help on Social stories, check out "carol gray" online, she was the creator and has a simple formula to be more effective if used when writing them. 

P.S. The face scratching will only get worse....Maybe give him something to hold like a stressball or something that will appel to him tactially when you are talking with him....something soft in case it goes flying across the room!!"

Something I thought of in response to her comments are:

I am thinking of giving incentive tickets to store in a jar for desired behavior that can be saved and redeemed for "extended bedtime, candy, a movie with parents, a bakugan, or ice cream pop". Was also thinking of making sad/happy face cards with velcro to do a "refrigerator strip" with. After the "fit" or "appropriate response" to frustration, I was thinking of having him go select the right "face" and stick it on the strip, so he could see the ratio of happy faces to sad at the end of the day. And maybe assigning tickets to purchase things/priveledges to the good faces. I thought that might appeal to his "numerical" side, and also visual. I have to get a video camera - filming a fit is a GREAT GREAT idea!!! I just have to make sure he knows it's not to shame him - he gets very very embarrassed talking about his behavior and very defensive. It's one of his triggers when he thinks someone is picking on him or pointing out his flaws. He's all about "fairness".

Time to get to work! Now I have two reasons to get a video camera - one to film the twins, and another to help show our kiddos what "we" see. It's hard to watch yourselves on camera as any teacher that has filmed her classroom can tell you! :-)